it's always there, we just have to see it ♥ 

A Walk 
My eyes already touch the sunny hill.

going far ahead of the road I have begun.
So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp;
it has inner light, even from a distance-

and charges us, even if we do not reach it,
into something else, which, hardly sensing it,
we already are; a gesture waves us on
answering our own wave...
but what we feel is the wind in our faces.
~Rainer Maria Rilke

We are mistaken if we think that the light in our dreams is what will make us whole. We are already light, we are already whole, we are already beautiful. Does this mean we don't reach for the stars? No, it only means to unseal what is closed, mend what is broken, embrace what is real, and walk where your heart desires. The stars are already in your pockets...

xoxo

hang on

i wanna keep the slow.
break it down
hold it down
keep it still
pause

in two hands, rope,
a lasso
over my head it spins
my eye on the prize
I throw

A break in the gray,
something on the ground,
I look up and
through the heavy haze,
I can see.

she is round, clear,
perfect,
hovering,
watching.
no blindness
no burning
just fire with
graceful, long fingers
reaching down like webs,
reaching for her children
trying to hold on.

I hear the ground scrape
as my feet slide,
I am slow.
Breathing in,
I wrap my arm around once,
adjust my grip, then tighten.

hang on
hang on tight
she says....

here we go


xoxo

From every cell in my body...

A collection of joy...

the surprise of a loving card on my desk (we had agreed to not do Vday this year, so I thought)...

precious time with the ones I love 

soul sister from Seattle, here!!

watching my beautiful nephew(who has SMS) read

week long fabulous hair tutorials  for clueless hair wielders like me

The Usborne Book of Drawing, Doodling, and Coloring--one of the best books for creativity and imagination I have seen, for big and little kids. Hint: watch for a giveaway soon...

and a Boho boots giveaway!!! (thanks Mon for the tip!)

patience, diligence, trust, and faith that "if anything can go well, it will.."

♥

Joy Pockets.....

A Tribe

On seven fingers I can count them, the women in my life that I would consider my tribe. My mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother-- the matriarchs, the women who provide the solid wall of rock that support me in whatever I do, whatever I choose, even if that means separating them from their grandchildren and their great-grandchildren, and the grandchildren from their cousins.

“Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes

The four other women, one here, and three spread out across this country, are my friends and my soul sisters, one's who everyday have remained present in heart and mind no matter what circumstances have come our way, ones that I wish with eyes squeezed shut and whispers to the wind that I could spend more time with. Soon, all seven will be out of physical reach for me, and such things as skype, facetime, and maybe now even facebook, will be my virtual lifeline. I am learning that I am not the loner I once thought myself to be. The older I become, the greater my need for strong, lasting female friendships, a tribe that I can call my own, where if I have to fall, I trust emphatically that loving and faithful hands will catch me. How important for all of us to be those hands, as well as have such hands, hands that extend through time, space, mud and magic.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think, but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you. ~A.A. Milne (Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh)

And I have not forgotten about our online tribe. I have not forgotten the adoration, respect, and mutual enjoyment we receive from each other's thoughts, words, and photos. Being in each other's spaces is a still another form of opening our hands, lending our ears, and extending our hearts. We urge each forward in progress, in process, to grow, to grieve, to purge, to proclaim, and to reclaim ourselves. Yes, there is a tribe here, and I proudly call you a soul sister (brothers, too :).

xoxo

Update: Packing is nearly finished, though looking around here it doesn't feel like progress has been made, lol. I am still battling what to leave and what to take. Wouldn't you consider a sewing machine, crockpot, rice cooker, and blender essential items to bring? I keep telling Hubs that they are just as important as the computers. He doesn't argue about the espresso machine though :). Maybe we can find another spot for the rats--on the roof of the car, maybe?

Keep smiling...

Wanderers

For me, the faces of the artisans tell a story 

far beyond the beautiful handcrafts they create. 

Their countenance, weathered and lined, 

their hands, worn, calloused and thick, 

proudly reveal a passionate heart, 

nonpursuant of money or fame,

though a few dollars would prove 

that someone else can love a craft

the way that they have loved it. 

As we walk from tent to tent, 

I feel the hopeful, almost pleading eyes 

eager to share, eager to show, eager to give... 

A crocheter, a potter, a woodworker, 

a painter, a palmetto scrub maker, 

a poet on the stage, 

a fiddler in the wings...

They don't eat by the money they make,

they don't drink by the miles they drive,

yet they breathe to travel, wander, and

live by their love to create,

and to offer a piece of their heart to 

any stranger who walks by,

anyone who cares to stop, cares to ask, 

and cares to wonder 

how and why...

Weekending with Amanda...
Hope you had wonderful weekend
xoxo

A Pocketful of Moments 2.10.12

culture lessons and belly dancing at homeschool co-op

Oh it feels good to be writing a post... a Joy Pockets post no less :). I could go on about how busy I've been, but I always feel silly sharing such things. We're all busy. Whether it's stress, transitions, or just ordinary life living, we do have these things in common don't we? How we find those savory morsels of peace that elevate our mood and bring us back to center, now that is something extra-ordinary worth sharing :).

Little girls in jangling hip scarves
(oh yes, the mamas too)

the four of us howling at the full moon with abandon

waking to songs of the Northern Mockingbird

The Dangerous Book for Boys : awesome

awesome awesome book that E and I have loved reading 

and discovering together, did I say

awesome?

The Spun Monkey : I first learned about Shannon and her yarns from Ginny last year. Shannon handspins, hand-dyes, needle-felts, as well as offers lessons and classes, using locally rescued farm wool. If only I lived in Vermont!! After supporting her in her Kickstarter campaign last year, this lovely skein arrived in my mailbox. It's wonderful and inspiring to watch a person's dreams and visions grow--much love and luck to you Shannon!

a hit with the fam: panko oven-baked chicken drumsticks

being able to laugh at myself knowing that
the sweater I am knitting is already too big for me, lol,
and so it goes...:).

Going into the weekend with a little hip swagger, a lot of attitude, and some
Everlasting Light




and This Moment

Wishing you swagger in your weekend...

p.s. you may not *see* me too much in the blogosphere the next couple weeks, but please know I am still visiting and lurking in between taping and packing..
cheers...

xoxo

Everything and nothing

This weekend, we had three very quiet, childless days as my boy and girl headed south to Palm Beach with their grandparents. It's been a long while since my house was that silent for that long, but my mission was clear. Armed with boxes, a sharpie and packing tape, my chance had arrived to tackle my children's bedrooms.

Looking around at all of the (temporarily) abandoned toys, lifeless and calm from their vacated playmates, I could still feel my children here, like a scent that weaves itself through a home, laying claim to everything it touches. As I bent down to clean up this little table of wooden chairs, with gemstones and rocks placed attentively on every surface, with wooden animals, horse stickers, and magnet skeletonheads in attendance, I could hear my daughter's voice in each and every character. Dismantling it right away just didn't feel right, and I wondered at the story behind it all. I paused, gazed, and listened.

And it was the same in my son's room, my son who saves everything...from an old bloody bandaid pinned up on his wall (boys....), to a magazine collage of teddy bears he made when we was three, to a 5 foot long crochet chain he made when he was six. As often I as I have been disgruntled at these objects, toys, and souvenirs, stepping on them, tripping over them, and having cleaned them up every other day, I do know they have been essential to my children's stories, passions, and youth.

I know I am overly sentimental lately, and maybe paying more attention to the little sparks and reflections that tell us who we are provides comfort. In the end though, these sentimental feelings really are only reflections, and a validation that things change, move, flow, evolve.

So some things have been neatly and gently packed, others have been placed in a give away pile, and most things have been placed in a sell pile, including my large, green, beautiful shelf from Bali.
And from this I am learning.
I am finding peace in knowing I have taken nothing for granted.
I am finding peace in knowing I am deeply grateful for everything.
And with this peace, I am finding that I can let it all go...

"That nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting and impermanent, is the first mark of existence. It is the ordinary state of affairs. Everything is in process. Everything—every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimate—is always changing, moment to moment."
~ Pema Chodron

Wishing you a beautiful Monday...

Linking with Amanda for Weekending...
 xoxo

A Pocketful of Moments 2.3.12

Joy Pockets with Monica and This Moment with Amanda are my favorite ways to welcome Fridays. Even though I've had lack of sleep and a little cold this week, the good things were still there, waiting to catch my eye. All I had to do was try :)....

a sweet surprise in the mail from a friend...

the hilarity of Jib Jab, the kids love doing this

new music discovered:
 Daughter

hot white bean chili soup with fresh french bread

finding greater courage in taking self portraits

finding forgotten dark chocolate in the pantry

date night with hubs, but really looking forward to choosing
between Korean bbq or sushi (I know, I have my priorities straight)

almost finishing with knitting the back of my first sweater :).

And now for the love of Artists and Etsy:

Yoborobo: Originally introduced to me awhile ago thanks to Lori, these beautifully handmade dolls have a touch of the quirky, bizarre, and utterly lovable. Pam's talent extends into drawing and painting, and she is also a published children's author. Her passion for animals, monsters, and skeletons is so similar to a certain little girl I know, that I would bet that the words "spooky" and "Tim Burton" are common in their vocabulary :).

Nanette and Roger 

And have you been to Laura Emily's new shop

Good Earth Living? Laura Emily is a certified holistic wellness coach and makes all of her own herbal remedies. In her own words, "it is my true passion to help women create balance between their bodies, soul, and mind." Tinctures, lip balms (the anise seed is wonderful), clay masks, and room sprays can be found in her shop, all made with heart and purpose for holistic and natural living.

 and then This Moment with Amanda



Have a beautiful weekend!!
xo

Oh book, how I love thee...

source

"Speaking personally, you can have my gun, but you'll take my book when you pry my cold, dead fingers off of the binding."

~ Stephen King

I'm in good company, yes? Hee hee...

What can I say about books and reading that you don't already feel and know deeply?  We all want the same thing. We all want a story to wraps its fingers in ours and draw us close, whisper into our ears and promise a journey to somewhere we won't ever forget...My bad habit is not always remembering to share that journey with others so that they may delve into that story too. I will have to work on that :).

Having just finished The Red Tent by Anita Diamont and  Hold Onto Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld Ph.D. and Gabor Mate, M.D, I will say that I liked Hold Onto Your Kids far far better than The Red Tent. The Red Tent just didn't capture or hold my attention, not in the way I would want a story to. I know some loved this book, but for me....'eh, it made little impact save one thing, that womanhood is a gift, and that we must always cherish and honor that gift.  So with that said, I gave it 3 stars.

On the other hand, if you are searching for a parenting book that reinforces the importance of the parent-child relationship above all else, as well as a straightforward and thorough look into how attachment is built and destroyed, you must read Hold Onto Your Kids. The threat of losing our children to peers is stronger than ever now due to our technologic advances, as well as the progressive loss of solid, cultural foundations in families. While we push our kids to become independent and autonomous, could we be unconsciously pushing them away from us far sooner than they are ready? This book opened my eyes to the little ways that I may have been inadvertently sending these messages to my children. I have to thank Stacy and her post here for recommending this book. By the way, are you on Good Reads? Wanna be friends?

I've started two new books. Anne of Greene Gables by L.M. Montgomery is one that has been on my list for years. After putting it off for so long, I figured it to be too juvenile for me anymore. Thanks to a little push from this lovely blogger, I was wrong. I have only finished the first 6 chapters, but I adore Anne Shirley--this spritely and fantastic young girl with the most wondrous imagination. A true love affair has begun.

And there is Tree Spirits: Tales and Encounters, written and illustrated beautifully by Heather Preston.

a page from the book

This book is Preston's personal account on her search for the spirit of trees. Through folklore and stories of several cultures, from the mouths of shamans, through research, and through her own intuitive sense that something exists beyond bark and root, this book is about the connection that we know exists between ourselves and the mighty tree. Her illustrations are delightful, reverent, and beautiful. When I wrote the last post about the old oak not too far from our home, I hadn't even cracked this book open yet.  And now, as I walk arm and arm with this book, one word comes to mind, serendipity...

Cheers to you on this Thursday!!

xoxo

"Man reading should be man intensely alive. The book should be a ball of light in one’s hand."

~Ezra Pound

Seeking stillness

"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you." ~ Deepak Chopra

“You and I can turn and look at the silent river and wait. 

We know the current is there, hidden; and there are comings 

and goings from miles away that hold the stillness exactly before us.
What the river says, that is what I say.”

~William Stafford 

There was busyness abound. Birthday parties, bowling, packing and storing. Yet, my favorite part of the weekend was the stillness. Reading and resting in my favorite corner, and a walk on the trail to visit the old oak tree near the lake.

It would take 7, maybe 8 adults to wrap around the trunk of this tree. How many times have I tried to take it's photo? How many times, to no avail, have I tried to capture the grandeur, the spirit, the stillness of this great grandfather? Too many. Stillness can't be captured, taught, or taken. Stillness is a hush that begins quietly within. The nearer and longer I stood with him, the denser the curtain of calmness became. Soon... I was still.

"No thought, no action, no movement, total stillness: only thus can one manifest the true nature and law of things from within and unconsciously, and at last become one with heaven and earth." ~Lao Tzu

Good Monday to you...

xoxo

Linking with Amanda for Weekending, and with Bella for 52 Photo's Project {where I lay my head down}